Yogis to Crazies

Back home and ungracefully adjusting to living again in eastern Massachusetts. After living in the Berkshires for a mere four months, I've found myself to be slightly unamused here. While wallowing in my own Dickinson like sorrow, I've decided to indulge in some logic tales to read while I waste my time away with my nose in a book, fantasizing about living in elsewhere locations while falling back into a coffee and cigarettes loving frenzy. Oh yes, living on a yogi commune has done me well. Now as I attempt to oscillate between lifestyles, I find myself being a bit dramatic or irrational as usual. After finishing up The Bell Jar--of which I completely believe I can relate to far too much--I've now continued on to Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I specifically love how Kesey opens with the simple disclaimer:

"To Vik Lovell, who told me dragons did not exist, then led me to their lairs."

And thus the journey begins. I've begun to come to the conclusion that it's ok to be unaware of where you're going or if you begin to question your sanity. It only reminds us that we're alive. If from time to time you didn't ever think you were a little out of the loop, or not the like the rest, then it's safe to say that you are indeed a robot. And theoretically, all yogis are a bit unglued. We just don't notice as much until we're out of the commune walls. With that, I leave you with a quote from another crazy:

"If I who was previously revolting am now this far from my crazy self, how much farther are you who were never revolting, and how much deeper your revulsion?" -Susanna Kaysen

Although the quote may be a bit overused after his book, The Power of Postive Thinking, hit the streets; it's a good reminder for the masses.

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities — always see them, for they're always there.”
–Norman Vincent Peale

Leap of Faith?

William Blake wrote, "Expect posion from standing water." Stagnation is toxic. As a yogi, I feel as though these belief systems tend to contradict. Doesn't yoga pay homage to being still and quiet with oneself? When you're still long enough and finally listen to what your heart wants, you come to realize that remaining stationary can be completely deterioating to the soul. Living and volunteering here at a yoga center in the mountains for the past four months has helped me to come to this realization. So as my time here comes to a close, I wonder, where do I leap to next? The past three months here have felt like an alternate realm of magical well-being, positivity, granola, and sweaty yoga mats. Now, as I attempt to make my next move, I feel myself becoming stagnant and blocked off again. And at this point, Ganesh can only remove so many obstacles from my path before I have to start plowing through them with my own two arms (which mind you have gotten exceptionally strong from plank pose and working in the kitchen slinging oversized containers of veggies and tofu). As I clumsily prepare to transcend through universes, I will keep one thing in mind: don't stop, breath through it, and keep questioning and loving.